


when he found his loverman

by madiciene



Category: Banana Fish
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Post-Canon, banana fish - Freeform, mr loverman, old man eiji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28959723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madiciene/pseuds/madiciene
Summary: Eiji grows old wondering when Ash will send him a letter back. He waits and wait as the years pass by.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	when he found his loverman

1973, New York Public Library.

Dear Ash

Ash—  
I’m worried to death because I haven’t been able to see you doing well.  
You said we live in different worlds. But is that true?  
We have different colored skin and eyes. We were born in different countries.  
But we’re friends. Isn’t that what counts?  
I’m really glad I came to America. I met lots of people.  
And more than anything, I met you.  
You asked me over and over if you scared me. But I never feared you, not once.  
What’s more is you’re hurt much more than me. I couldn’t help feeling that way.  
Funny, huh?  
You’re way smarter, bigger, and stronger than me. But I always felt like I had to protect you. I wonder what it is I wanted to protect you from.  
I wanted to protect you from fate.  
The fate that tries to carry you away, drifting futher and futher.  
You told me once about a leopard you read in a book. How you believed that leopard knew that it couldn’t go back.  
And I said you weren’t a leopard, that you could change your destiny.  
You’re not alone. I’m by your side.  
My soul is always with you.  
— Eiji Okumura"

Ash read his name, Eiji, what was he thinking? Was he thinking about Ash? Did Eiji truly mean it? Of course, he did, what are you telling yourself? 

Ash sat down in the library, read the letter as much as he could. He was finally at peace, there was no reason to call for help, someone cared about him. Someone didn't want anything in return. That's all Ash could ever ask for. He lay there, still and motionless. Smiling about every moment they had together. Ash wanted nothing more than to apologise, to be sorry for all this mess. His final thoughts finally settling in. He longed to see Eiji again, to hold him close, to smell that sweet scent he carried everywhere. If only he wasn't bleeding as bad as he was, maybe he could've made it. Maybe he could've been happy. Happy with Eiji. 

He tried to read the words Eiji wrote for him over again but his sight was failing him, death was seeping in at every corner. His vision began to darken, lungs began to hurt, heart started to stop. He lay down his head, thinking of nothing but the kindness, the love he received from Eiji Okumura and tried so hard to return. 

Saturday, 1975 Izumo, Japan

After returning to his hometown, Eiji decided to settle down. He bought a nice house with a nice porch, a good distance from the town. He liked the house, he liked the silence away from the town, and he likes the view of the sunset. Not only that, but he liked this life. He enjoyed it. Everything was almost perfect, he just couldn't find the missing puzzle, he knew what it was. But he knew he should just forget about it. 

Thursday, 1983, Izumo, Japan

He wanted to go back. He wanted to find Ash, to see him again. He knew he shouldn't. It was wrong. Maybe Ash didn't want to see him again, maybe that's why he didn't come back to Japan with him. Every day, he longed for a phone call or a letter back. He wrote as many letters as he could. Every time he made multiples of each, sending them to different addresses, waiting for at least one back. It didn't make sense, was he not sending them to the right address? Did Ash not want to talk to him? Every day was no different from the one before, wake up, breakfast, write the letters, head off to work, come home, watch the sunset, have dinner. Some night Eiji couldn't sleep. Nightmares of Shorter, Ash and gunshots running through the memories of his past. If anything he'd hoped to one day visit Ash and be able to smile about the times they had with Shorter. And maybe one day soon they'd celebrate Halloween and Christmas together. Just like they had shown him. He missed New York, he missed Shorter. He really missed Ash.

Monday, 1999, Izumo, Japan

Years passed and Eiji grew his hair out, kept his face clean cut, and was still as active and good at high jump as he was when he went to New York the first time. Eiji fell in love in New York, it was a place of true happiness for him. A place where he had memories that made him smile and ones that made him tear up and ones that made his heart ache. Those memories were truly painful, and yet he still thought of those the most. For Eiji's 45th birthday he was going back to New York. Not to find Ash, he knew he couldn't put any of them in trouble again. Over the years, he realised that Ash didn't write back because he just couldn't. He knew Ash didn't want him in any of his business again. He knew he couldn't interrupt again. He hoped that maybe while he was there, he would bump into Ash. Even if it was just a split second. He still loved Ash with all his heart, he truly wished they had grown together. But not everyone got their happy endings. Eiji lived alone in his small house over the hill. It wasn't ever odd for Eiji, living alone, he always felt as if he had a comfort in every room. Sitting on his back porch and while watching the sunset, he'd set out a chair for Ash, hoping he's doing well, and thinking of him. Little did Eiji know, wherever he went, the spirits of two boys, much younger than him now, who he had once known following around. Making sure the man never felt alone. Like they once had.

Tuesday, 2014, Izumo, Japan

Eiji was ageing, the days passing faster and the evenings getting slower. Eiji knew he didn't have much longer, although only being 59, he knew it wouldn't be too long until he had to go. The neighbours, knowing about his old age, make sure to check up on him every day or two. Despite being almost 800 m from the house, they always made sure to come by and make sure the old geezer hadn't passed. Eiji always enjoyed the neighbours coming around, their teenagers showing him newer music, and their younger kids listening to his stories of his old days. They came around every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. He enjoyed their company and the warmth they left behind, feeling like he did in New York all  those few years ago. New York? When did he go to New York?

Friday, 2016, Izumo Japan 

Eiji was getting older, living alone didn't help the memories. Eiji had gotten in an accident and his memories were cut short. He had no remembering before the year 1980. Barely remembering anything these days was no help. He was stuck at home, alone with nothing but photos on his walls and the visits of what he assumes was the neighbours. One of the kids from the neighbourhood had shown Eiji a new vinyl he had gotten. Eiji showed the boy his old record player. The boy said he could keep the vinyl and had a copy at home. Eiji accepted the gift with gratitude. He never did listen to the vinyl, he never really had time and thought not much of it. 

August 12, 2019, Izumo, Japan 

As days, weeks, months and years passed, Eiji had an itch he couldn't scratch. Something about his past he needed to know. He had been stuck in the house for years now. Barely ever walking past his front verandah. The neighbours helped water his lawns and bought in any groceries Eiji asked them to buy. Maybe it was the photos on the wall of him and two boys, or maybe it was the odd feeling of comfort in every room. I'm saying that, Eiji never really enjoyed sunrises, people would always say "a new day a new beginning" and "you can always start a new tomorrow". The thing was Eiji didn't want a new beginning, or to 'start new'. He always enjoyed sunsets more. The oranges and yellows painted across the sky, the way the green grass looked under the smudges of pinks and purples. How the red blended all those colours together, getting ready for a peaceful night. Most nights Eiji would sit out on his back porch, reading. Eiji being 65 didn't get out as much as he used to, couldn't get out as much as he wanted to. Most times there wasn't really anything Eiji could do. This morning though, felt like a special one and just for today he would watch the sunrise. He set up the record player, while it was still dark, sat down next to a chair he must have left there. He didn't worry about it much as he started the music listening to the melodies as the sun rose.

~I'm headed straight for the floor

The alcohol served its tour

And it's headed straight for my skin

Leaving me daft and dim~

As the man sung, Eiji noticed the sincerity in his voice, almost a twitch of pain. Something that felt almost, familiar.

~I've got this shake in my legs

Shaking the thoughts from my head

But who put these waves in the door?

I crack and out I pour~

He felt this wave of ache flow through him. He felt it again, The pain in his heart was something he couldn't handle.

~I'm Mr. Loverman

And I miss my lover, man

I'm Mr. Loverman

Oh, and I miss my lover~

The feeling he couldn't shake off. It left a burning sensation inside him. He struggled to breathe as the chorus sang, he missed his lover.

~The ways in which you talk to me

Have me wishin' I were gone

The ways that you say my name

Have me runnin' on and on~

He remembered, all the thoughts running through his head. The time Shorter and him calved pumpkins and scared Ash, and when Shorter would lend his jacket to Eiji. 

~Oh, I'm cramping up

I'm cramping up

But you're cracking up

You're cracking up~

He could feel it. Feel it all, the morning sun on his face as tears shed themselves from his dark tired eyes. Every memory from New York suddenly coming back, as if it was a movie, and he replayed it over and over again.

~I'm Mr. Loverman

And I miss my lover, man

I'm Mr. Loverman

Oh, and I miss my lover~

His lover? Is that who that was? His mind flashes with memories of a young boy, blonde with the most green eyes he'd ever seen. How could he ever forget such an important person. 

~I've shattered now, I'm spilling out

Upon this linoleum ground 

I'm reeling in my brain again

Before it can get back to you 

Oh what am I supposed to do without you?~

All these emotions, like how he felt when he had to say goodbye to New York. How he felt when he had heard Ash had presumably died. Eiji suddenly felt a rush of relief, there was something about this moment, seeing the sunrise above the far trees, feeling that warmth instead of the usual cold from the sunsets.

~I'm Mr. Loverman

And I miss my lover, man (I miss my lover)

I'm Mr. Loverman (oh-oh)

Oh, and I miss my lover (Mr. Loverman)~

Ash. Ash always preferred the sunrises, he didn't like how dark the sky got and how he could endlessly get lost in thought trying to reach for the stars above him. Eiji accepted Ash didn't want to talk to him again. He wanted what was best for Ash and what Ash needed. He hoped Ash was living his best life, over in New York, believing he is still as beautiful as he was the first time they met. 

~I'm Mr. Loverman (oh-oh)

And I miss my lover, man

I'm Mr. Loverman

And I miss my lover~

He's reminded of Ash and their journey. How much he missed Ash. He slowly feels it seeping away. Life slipping through his fingers slowly, coming closer and closer. Yet there's nothing he can do but accept it, as the song fades out and as the beat of his heart fades as well he uses these final moments to close his eyes and whisper

"Sayonara Ash"

When Eiji awakes, he's still on his front porch, younger, like he did in New York. He hears his name being yelled. Shorter. It was Shorter, he was really here, here to see Eiji. And there just behind him. He had found him. He found his lover, Ash ran over and grabbed Eiji's hands, squeezing them. Finally, they were together again, it took years and patience, but Ash waited. It took years and lost memories but Eiji never truly forgot. As they swayed together, just wanting to be together, Eiji knew. He finally had it. 

Eiji found his loverman.


End file.
